India cracks me up...

Let me tell you the story of why going to see The Dark Knight took my entire Saturday. It's a perfect example of how things in India tend to be a lot more difficult than they need to be...

I had been wanting to see the movie for a long time, so when a couple of American missionaries came into town to see the movie, we decided it would be good for me to go with them. We set off at 10:30 in the morning with plenty of time to spare.

After an hour of travel we reached where the theater was supposed to be. But it was nowhere to be found! There was a mall there, but it wasn't the mall we were looking for.

Important fact: Indian culture is one of landmarks, not one of maps and accurate directions. The basic mindset seems to be: just head off in the direction you want to go and figure things out when you get there!

Well, we couldn't "figure things out." Wave Cinemas was nowhere to be found. What we didn't realize is that, on top of a building right in front of us was a large red and yellow symbol that was apparently the Wave Cinemas logo. Well, we didn't know what the logo was supposed to look like, so we started walking off in another direction.

Eventually, after getting thoroughly sweaty and exhausted, we gave up and paid to have a bicycle rickshaw take us back the way we came. Unfortunately, with the three of us on the back of the rickshaw, the poor guy driving had to struggle just to get us moving. He threw all of his 94 pounds into it like a cyclist riding up a vertical cliff, but we were barely able to get moving faster than a leisurely stroll.

With time running short, we got off, walked quickly back to the mall, found the theater and went up to buy our tickets. Turns out, however, that the ticketing counter is not on the third floor with the theater. It's downstairs, outside the mall and around the corner near the parking lot. What.

So, we ran down the stairs and finally got to the counter. The two guys with me picked up their pre-paid tickets, and I stepped up to find out that the theater was full. Totally full. Which means that, while they got to go in and enjoy the movie, I had to walk back the way I had come, get back on the subway and take another auto rickshaw back to my neighborhood. Hah!

Well, now I was determined. I set off for another theater in different part of town. I got there with plenty of time to spare, bought my ticket and waited around for the movie to start. When the doors finally opened, I walked up, only to be stopped by one of the ticket-takers.

"I'm sorry," he said, "no bags allowed."

"Um... I'm sorry?"

"No bags allowed."

"Ok... So, can I just leave my backpack with the guard?"

"No bags allowed."

"Um, can I leave it at the concession stand?"

"I'm sorry, but we do not allow bags."

At this point I was thinking, Oh no you don't. I'm not about to miss my movie because I have a backpack! So I asked, "What am I supposed to do with it, then?"

"You can leave your bag there at the stand."

I turned around and looked where he was pointing. There was a really shady looking samosa stand where apparently they store backpacks and purses and things for the movie. I went over, laughing tiredly, wondering why he didn't just tell me that right away.

Anyway, long story short, I finally saw the movie. Other than a jarring and completely unnecessary intermission right in the middle of an intense scene, it was a rather pleasant cinematic experience.

I walked out of the theater surprised to see that it was night time already. I fought through a huge crowd of other movie-goers, picked up my bag and went back home wondering how exactly it took me 10 hours to see a single movie...