Indian Food... the real kind.

Eating in India has become a bit of an adventure for me. Since being here, I've had my mental image of what constitutes "Indian food" radically altered, and I've had to put my "I'll try anything once" vow to the test several times...

Now, when most people think of Indian food, I'm sure they picture beautiful buffets full of tender meats and succulent vegetables cooked in exotic spices, saffron colored rice piled high and waiters bringing hot garlic naan to the table. That's what I pictured before coming.

Well, after two months in India, I can conclusively say that it is exactly like that here... At really expensive restaurants.

But I don't eat at expensive restaurants. I eat at the office. With a bunch of guys from rural Maharastra. These are guys that laughed at me when I mentioned Chicken Tikka Masala (I don't think I get the joke). And they eat what they've always eaten. Real Indian food.

I'm pretty sure the conditions in the office kitchen wouldn't stand up to health code regulations in the States. Everything is prepared on the same stretch of counter. Chapati, veggies, meat... They wipe it down with a cloth every once and a while, but still.

Indresh, our talented cook, with Ulhas
in the kitchen preparing dinner.

And then there are the critters. We seriously have a family of Uruk-Hai cockroaches living under the fridge. They have no fear of sunlight. Or of humans. I could have sworn that one of them cursed at me when my back was turned.

But they're not the only species in our kitchen ecosystem. The other day, Pranjal and I were putting our dishes away when a huge rat jumped through the window, ran around the stove and launched himself on top of the cupboards.

"Don't worry. We'll kill him tomorrow" he said.

"Oh, ok. Cool." I replied, laughing.

An average dinner with a few of the office guys.

Usually I'm totally fine with the food I am served. Sure, steamed okra gets a little old three nights in a row, and sometimes the curry is so hot that burping burns three hours later. But generally the food is really good! There have been times, however, when they've served up something that I just can't finish.

The other night, I noticed that the table was missing something. We had the veggies, the chapati, the dal. Hmmm... Where was the main dish? As we started eating, Ulhas came out of the kitchen humming with excitement. "Two minutes!" He told everyone.

Two minutes later, he came back out with a big bowl full of red curry and goat's feet. Goat's feet, guys. I mean, goat brain is slimy and gross, but at least it looks like a normal meat dish. Here was a bowl full of hooves and ankles. I almost lost it.

In my head I kept repeating the mantra, "I'll try anything once. I'll try anything once. I'll try anything once." And I did. I took two bites, struggling to chew and swallow the tough, rubbery meat. Thankfully, my mantra didn't say anything about finishing it.

The whole time, my mind kept switching between hilarity and nausea. At one point, one of the other guys asked me how we prepare goat's feet in the U.S.! "We don't exactly eat that part of the goat," I said, not mentioning the fact that most Americans wouldn't even know what a goat looks like if it weren't for The Sound of Music.

Well, long story short, I made it through the meal without barfing all over the table. And right now, I'm sure many of you want to run off to cook up some tasty goat's feet for yourselves! Apparently they're called "trotters," which just so happens to be one of the absolute worst food names in existence. I found a recipe here. You're welcome.

Don't worry. No goat feet here. Just some regular old mutton
curry. Which is, of course, goat meat. But the tasty kind...

So, all that to say, even though my experience with Indian food has been a bit, um... authentic, I'm still really enjoying it. At the very least I'm getting some good stories, right? I'll dominate at "Two truths and a lie" now!

And to think. I used to get squeamish eating anything with a bone still on it...